Paper 1 Question 2: Model Answer (AQA GCSE English Language): Model Answers
8/8 Answer
02 Look in detail at this extract, from lines 10 to 19 of the source:
I am not one to hold a prejudice against any animal, but it is a plain fact that the spotted hyena is not well served by its appearance. It is ugly beyond redemption. Its shaggy, coarse coat is a bungled mix of colours, with the spots having none of the classy ostentation of a leopard's, they look rather like the symptoms of a skin disease. The head is broad and too massive, with a high forehead, like that of a bear, but suffering from a receding hairline, and with ears that look ridiculously mouse-like, large and round, when they haven't been torn off in battle. The mouth is forever open and panting. The nostrils are too big. The tail is scraggly and unwagging. All the parts put together look doglike, but like no dog anyone would want as a pet.
How does the writer use language here to describe the hyena's appearance?
You could include the writer's choice of:
- words and phrases
- language features and techniques
- sentence forms.
[8 marks]
The writer's use of language criticises the hyena's unpleasant appearance, suggesting a deeper, irredeemable nature. The adjective "ugly" immediately labels the hyena as grotesque, a harsh judgement further emphasised by the short, impactful sentence "It is ugly beyond redemption." The brevity of this sentence adds weight to the statement, creating a tone of finality and hopelessness. Furthermore, the term "redemption" implies being saved from evil, suggesting that the hyena's ugliness symbolises an inherent, sinister nature that cannot be reversed. This choice of language and the use of a short sentence create a tone of revulsion and despair, portraying the hyena as beyond any hope of improvement. By using such strong and negative language, the writer emphasises the physical repulsiveness of the hyena and hints at a deeper malevolence, influencing the reader to perceive the hyena as intrinsically threatening and malign.
Additionally, the writer uses vivid imagery and specific comparisons to emphasise the hyena's grotesque and pitiable appearance. Describing the hyena's coat as a "bungled mix of colours" with spots resembling "the symptoms of a skin disease" evokes a sense of disorder and sickness, reinforcing the animal's unattractiveness. The past participle "bungled" suggests incompetence and failure, while the simile "like the symptoms of a skin disease" implies contamination and illness, heightening the reader's sense of revulsion. This imagery creates a tone of mockery and disdain, painting the hyena as a pitiable yet unfortunate creature. By focusing on these unflattering details, the writer ensures the reader perceives the hyena as physically repulsive but also evokes a sense of sympathy for its unfortunate appearance. The detailed description of its unattractiveness highlights how the hyena, often ostracised in the real world for its scavenging behaviour and eerie laugh, is unfairly judged solely based on its appearance. Through such vivid and derogatory descriptions, the writer highlights the hyena's pitiful state, making the reader view it with a mixture of disgust and pity, and prompting reflexion on the superficial judgments often placed on less appealing creatures.
Feedback:
| Criterion | Level | Commentary |
|---|---|---|
| Content and Analysis | Level 4 | Detailed and perceptive analysis, focusing on the language used to portray the hyena's nature. |
| Use of Subject Terminology | Level 4 | Accurate and sophisticated use of subject terminology throughout the response. |
| Relevance and Depth | Level 4 | Fully relevant to the task, with a nuanced and in-depth exploration of the writer's language choices. |
| Total Marks | 8/8 | The response meets all the criteria for Level 4, demonstrating a high level of understanding and analysis. |