Absent from Thee by John Wilmot (AQA A-Level English Literature A): Revision Notes

Absent from Thee by John Wilmot

Overview of the poem

John Wilmot's 'Absent from Thee' is a satirical love poem that cleverly subverts the conventions of traditional Restoration love poetry. Written as a song with four stanzas arranged in quatrains, the poem follows a regular rhyme scheme and iambic tetrameter. However, what appears on the surface to be a conventional love poem addressing an absent lover quickly reveals itself as something far more shocking and deceptive.

The speaker addresses a woman he claims to miss deeply, but his true message is far from romantic. Rather than expressing faithful devotion during their separation, he uses the form and language of love poetry to justify his infidelity. He argues, in a twisted logic, that by being unfaithful to her with other women, he is actually testing his love and will therefore return to her more devoted than ever.

Historical context

The Restoration period

The poem was written during the Restoration, which took place in the United Kingdoms of England, Scotland and Ireland in 1660. This momentous political event occurred when King Charles II returned from exile in Europe to reclaim the throne. Many people viewed this period as 'a divinely ordained miracle', believing it represented deliverance from political chaos and a return to a perceived natural and divine order.

John Wilmot's life and reputation

John Wilmot was an English poet and courtier at King Charles II's Restoration court, and his life was as controversial as his poetry. He became notorious for his disreputable lifestyle and scandalous poetry, which often led people to read his work in terms of how he lived his life. His vivacity, freedom of speech, exploits with women and chaotic lifestyle made him a legendary figure of the period. The speaker in this poem is frequently considered to be Wilmot himself, reflecting on his choices and the life he has chosen for himself.

Wilmot's reputation was complex and contradictory. Although he was praised contemporaneously by respected figures such as Andrew Marvell, who called him 'the best English satirist', his poetry was censored during the Victorian era due to his libertinism (a lifestyle of self-indulgence and promiscuity). His unruly reputation raised concerns about his morals, and he was known as a nihilistic atheist, which alarmed and disturbed religious audiences following his publication.

Wilmot's personal life was marked by excess and contradiction. Divided between a domestic life in the country and a riotous life at court, he was an alcoholic. Gilbert Burnet wrote that 'for 5 years together he was continually drunk and not master of himself'. He was frequently banned from court and prone to violent temper, flagrant indiscretions and drink. He had several affairs and maintained a mistress, Elizabeth Barry, whom he trained as an actress and had a daughter with.

The poem's title

The title 'Absent from Thee' is particularly significant because it is identical to the poem's first line, creating an echo that reinforces its importance. This repetition immediately establishes the central concern of the poem: the lover's absence. The title suggests this will be a traditional love poem, which is reinforced by our knowledge that this is an intimate and private piece that Wilmot did not publish during his lifetime, keeping it only for a small audience of friends.

The word 'absent' becomes the striking focal point, appearing both in the title and at the front of the opening line. This repetition creates a great sense of the lover's absence and emphasizes the physical separation between the speaker and the person he addresses. However, as we read further, we discover that this apparently sorrowful absence becomes the justification for the speaker's infidelity.

Structure and form

Overall structure

The poem is written as a song, which is reflected in its regular and musical shape. It consists of four stanzas arranged into quatrains (four-line stanzas) that follow the iambic tetrameter pattern. Wilmot has deliberately used the clean, classic love poem structure to subvert the reader's expectations. Where we anticipate a melodious ode to a lover, we instead encounter a witty and lustrous man who wants to persuade his lover to allow him to sleep around.

Metre and rhythm

The basic metre of the poem is iambic tetrameter, meaning each line uses four iambs that follow an unstressed-stressed rhythm pattern. This metrical choice is particularly appropriate for love poems because iambic rhythms are common in English poetry and are especially perfect for love poems as they mimic or resemble a heartbeat.

However, Wilmot plays with this basic iambic pattern throughout the poem. In the first line, for example, the speaker starts with a trochee (stressed-unstressed) rather than an iamb:

There are also trochees in lines 5 ('Dear') and 15 ('Faithless'), where they appear to create slight changes which create emphasis on these important words.

Rhyme scheme

The poem employs a steady ABAB rhyme scheme throughout all four stanzas. This consistent rhyme pattern ties in with the musical essence of the poem and fits with the traditional conventions of love poetry. However, whilst the speaker delivers his unconventional message using this conventional form, he does include some slant rhyme (imperfect rhyme) to hint at the underlying discord.

Detailed analysis of the poem

Opening stanza

The poem begins with direct address to the absent lover:

Absent from thee I languish still; Then ask me not, When I return? The straying fool 'twill plainly kill To wish all day, all night to mourn.

The 'languishing' speaker recalls the 'palely loitering' knight from 'La Belle Dame Sans Merci', yet the knight is truly suffering whereas this speaker is not suffering and is being disingenuous. The second line is crucial to establishing the tone of the stanza. Rather than continuing with romantic declarations, the speaker moves to asking her to stop pestering him about his return. Thus, the tone changes here and we start questioning the nature of the relationship between the speaker and his lover.

The speaker continues trying to persuade his lover through love-poetry discourse which acts as a mask for the insincere relationship he is suggesting. The final two lines of the stanza see the speaker explain to his lover his plans for infidelity as an expression of sincere affection. He calls himself a 'straying fool' and suggests that wishing all day and night to mourn would kill him. Interestingly, there is a play on words here: 'morning' and 'mourning' sound the same, linking to their separation and his inability to resist temptation.

Second stanza

Dear! from thine arms then let me fly, That my fantastic mind may prove The torments it deserves to try, That tears my fix'd heart from my love.

The second stanza introduces the speaker's unique perspective on infidelity. He addresses his lover as 'Dear' (with an exclamation mark adding dramatic emphasis) and asks to be released from her arms so that he may 'fly'. This creates an image of freedom and escape, suggesting the speaker feels constrained by fidelity.

The language here reveals the speaker's self-knowledge but also his inability to resist temptation. His mind fantasises, but his heart seeks rest, creating a split between heart and mind. This division can also be likened to the prevalent idea of the time about the split between mind and body, where the mind is the righteous ruler and the body wayward and likely to lead the owner into sin. The speaker knows his own failing and inability to resist temptation, so suggests he should indulge his fantasies through self-punishment, believing this is a value system upheld by both Christian mystics and bondage parlours.

Third stanza

When, wearied with a world of woe, To thy safe bosom I retire, Where love, and peace, and truth does flow, May I contented there expire!

The third stanza sees the speaker asking for forgiveness, which he expects to be easily given by the 'safe bosom'. The alliteration in 'wearied with a world of woe' slows down the line, especially if spoken out loud, and this relates to the theme of the line. The slowing aurally connects to the speaker's imagining of his weariness if he were allowed to sleep around.

Despite this possible double meaning, the line is also biblical in sound. 'World of woe' recalls the Christian phrase 'vale of tears' (referring to the tribulations of life). The sombre religious language is at odds with what he is describing: indulging his sexual desires.

The speaker uses triplet structure ('love, and peace, and truth') and wishful language through use of a syndetic rhythm, creating a gentle, peaceful sound. He describes his lover's bosom as a place where these virtues flow, suggesting it is a sanctuary or haven to which he can return. The religious imagery continues as he imagines himself retiring to this 'safe bosom' where he may 'contented there expire'. The word 'contented' suggests a serenity or calmness rather than happiness in death, knowing he has loved.

The religious imagery of 'heaven' shows the speaker in a peaceful state. However, 'wandering' implies his inability to be truly happy as he is always looking for more than he has; he will always want sexual relations with other women. He misses her but only in the context of his promiscuous behaviour.

Fourth stanza

Lest, once more wandering from that heaven, I fall on some base heart unblest; Faithless to thee, false, unforgiven— And lose my everlasting rest.

The final stanza reveals the speaker's fear of the consequences of his behavior. He worries that when he is away from his love and God, he loses faith and succumbs to temptation. The word 'base' suggests he is drawn to prostitutes, providing a stark contrast to 'safe bosom' in the earlier stanza.

The speaker fears his behaviour will damn him forever, predicting his death if his woman doesn't take him back. He also suggests that if she doesn't take him back, she will be to blame for his eternal damnation. This manipulation reveals the depths of the speaker's self-serving logic.

Language and poetic techniques

The speaker's voice

The speaker of the poem is fundamentally insincere and unloving towards 'thee' (whomever the woman is; he never addresses her by her name). He is lustful and deceitful as he tries to persuade his lover of his faithfulness whilst being blatantly unfaithful. The language he uses is often filled with malicious messages within false compliments.

It is often suggested that the speaker is similar to Wilmot himself, who was famous for being lascivious and philandering. The speaker carefully manipulates the language of love poetry to his advantage and uses conventions to argue that it is in the woman's best interests to allow him to be unfaithful.

Religious imagery and language

Religious language is used throughout the poem and is often contrasted with the romantic. Key examples include:

• 'The torments it deserves to try' (line 7)
• 'once more wandering from that heaven' (line 13)
• 'I fall on some base heart unblest' (line 14)
• 'lose my everlasting rest' (line 16)

The religious themes throughout the poem hint at the sacred nature of the speaker's relationship with his lover, as though he wouldn't want to lose her in the same way he wouldn't want to lose God. In fact, the two are often conflated. In the last line, the place of 'everlasting rest' can be interpreted as both his lover's bosom and Heaven.

The navigation between romantic and religious language makes it seem like the speaker is addressing God, which in a time when religion was strictly upheld and most people were devout, would have been shocking.

By comparing his lover to 'heaven' and intimating that her bosom is a place of 'everlasting rest', the poem could be considered sacrilegious or idolatrous. The irony is that the woman, his idol, is simultaneously disrespected by the speaker through his proposed infidelity.

Alliteration and sound devices

The speaker uses alliteration throughout the poem which adds to its dramatic effect. Notable examples include:

• 'When, wearied with a world of woe' (line 12)
• 'Faithless to thee, false, unforgiven' (line 15)

In line 15, the harsh 'f' sounds are aggressive and curse-like, possibly reflecting the apparent self-loathing of the speaker.

Anastrophe

The speaker uses anastrophe (the inversion of normal word order) in the opening line:

Absent from thee, I languish still

It doesn't want to be questioned because he is conscious he is in the wrong, creating a play on words: 'morning' and 'mourning' his lover because of their separation.

Major themes

Love and loss

The speaker addresses a woman who is not there and his claimed love for her is demonstrated in passionate exclamations like 'Dear!' (line 5), as well as through language which emphasizes his pain when she is not around. He speaks of 'the torments it deserves to try, / That tears my fix'd heart from my love' (lines 7-8), presenting the idea of violent separation where the speaker has no control over his actions but is at a loss when she is not around.

However, there is also a sense that the speaker is fearful of losing his lover. In the first stanza, words like 'languish', 'fool' and 'mourn' show that he knows what he wants is wrong but he is unable to stop himself fantasising about infidelity. The way he wraps his desires in a traditional love poem and confesses to his lover that without her he is in pain ('I languish still', line 1) suggests he is fearful she will leave him, and he tries to prevent this by presenting his ideas in a softer manner.

Truth and deception

The speaker uses the classical form of lyrical love poetry disingenuously. He does not use it to express raw emotion and love but instead uses self-serving logic to persuade his supposed 'lover' that she should be approving of his philandering. The speaker displays insouciance towards the reader or listener of the song. This is typical of the Restoration period and Cavalier poetry in the sense that it is amoral and the speaker is a rakish figure who seeks only sexual gratification, disregarding Christian marriage values.

He lives hedonistically and according to the motto 'carpe diem' (seize the day), while pretending the opposite. The poem is a one-sided dialogue which makes us wary of what he has to say. Wilmot has taken a standard form and filled it with language designed to offend. Using the cloak of the love poem form, he hides his scandalous infidelity and un-Christian desires.

Love through the ages according to history and time

Wilmot uses the language of love and religion throughout the poem which was common of the period. It is notable that much of the language relies on cliché. There are romantic clichés such as 'from thine arms' (line 5) and religious clichés such as 'lose my everlasting rest' (line 20).

The navigation between these two forms makes it seem like the speaker is addressing God. In a time when religion was strictly upheld and most people were devout, the speaker's dismissal of religion (in being polyamorous) would have been shocking. By comparing his lover to 'heaven' (line 17) and intimating that her bosom is a place of 'everlasting rest' (line 20), the poem could be considered sacrilegious or idolatrous. The irony is that the woman, his idol, is simultaneously disrespected by the speaker.

Love and sex

The speaker is lustful. He is not occupied by pure or emotional love; rather, he is looking to be satiated by women. He wants sex. His love is portrayed thinly from the very first line: 'Absent from thee I languish still;/ Then ask me not when I return' (lines 1-2). The second line contains a hint of annoyance in it, which tempers the first line. We can assume that the first line is a placater, used to make the woman more likely to give him what he wants.

Critical perspectives

Feminist interpretation

A feminist reading of the poem would highlight how the woman in the poem is being degraded. The speaker is willing to sleep around for his personal pleasure and expects his 'lover' to be waiting for him once he is done. The woman is objectified and treated as a possession rather than an equal partner in a relationship.

The weakness of the speaker's mind is evident in lines such as 'I languish still' (line 1), 'My fantastic mind' (line 6), 'The torments it deserves to try' (line 7), and 'Lest, once more wandering from that heaven' (line 12). These phrases reveal a speaker who knows his failings but seems unable or unwilling to change his behaviour.

Comparisons with other anthology poems

'Absent from Thee' and 'Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae'

Romantic love of many kinds:

Both poems consider a form of love that is removed from the romantic ideal and relies heavily on physical attraction and lust. Both speakers desire the physical satisfaction found in a woman's body. In 'Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae', this is shown through the speaker's use of a prostitute, referred to as 'the bought red mouth', and similarly, in 'Absent from Thee', the speaker uses 'some base heart unblest' to (ambiguously) refer to a prostitute or, at least, a woman with low moral standards.

In both cases, the speaker intimates that this is insufficient in some way and they will always return to their lover. In 'Absent from Thee', this is seen in 'wearied with a world of woe,/ To thy safe bosom I retire' (lines 9-10), and in 'Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae', the speaker continually mentally returns to Cynara who plagues his mind and casts her 'shadow' on him during his sexual endeavours with other women.

Love and loss:

In 'Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae', the speaker's loss is very apparent. He is unable to rid Cynara from his mind and unable to move on with other women. It is unclear whether Cynara has left him or whether she has died, but it is obvious that her absence has a significant mental effect on the speaker as he seems to descend into madness in the final stanzas: 'I cried for madder music and stronger wine,/ but when the feast is finished and the lamps expire,/ then falls they shadow' (final stanza).

In 'Absent from Thee', the speaker does not grieve in the same way when he is away from his lover. Rather, he tells her to 'ask [him] not when [he] retu[s]' (line 2), and it seems the date of his return is as of yet undecided. We can see from this that the roles are opposed to those in 'Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae'. It seems that the speaker of 'Absent from Thee' is the one who has left. His loss is in what he has left behind, not what has left him. This is significant as it gives the speaker in 'Absent from Thee' more power and control over his situation than the speaker of 'Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae'.

Truth and deception:

Both speakers are deceptive in their insistence on their infidelity and their justifications for their innocence. In 'Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae', the speaker insists multiple times that he has been faithful 'in [his] fashion' (a clause which comes after the exclamatory 'I have been faithful to thee, Cynara!' and therefore sounds deflated). Cynara's lover invents a new form of faithfulness, whereby he engages in sexual acts with other women but thinks of her during these acts. As readers, we are doubtful of his protestations.

Similarly, in 'Absent from Thee' the speaker asks his lover to allow him these sexual experiences but remain waiting for him when he is ready: 'To thy safe bosom I retire' (line 10). The men are deceptive in their insistence that they truly love the women they address. It is evident that they are aware of the faults by subtle indications in the language. In 'Absent from Thee', the speaker takes pains to let his lover know that without her he struggles and is weak, and in 'Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae', the speaker's insistence on his faithfulness alerts the reader that he is aware he has been the opposite. As readers, we are made aware of both the truth in the men's words and the deceptive nature in which they warp the truth in attempts to remain favourable in their lover's eyes.

'Absent from Thee' and 'La Belle Dame Sans Merci'

Love and sex:

Sex in 'Absent from Thee' is negotiated as a means of satiating a desire for physical contact and attraction. Through the speaker demanding a polyamorous relationship, and the suggestion of prostitutes, we can understand that the speaker views sex as a form of physical satiation rather than an act of love. In 'La Belle Dame Sans Merci', sex is inferred at points such as 'she looked at me as she did love/ and made sweet moan' (lines 19-20).

The important element here is the use of 'love'. Whereas the knight in 'La Belle Dame Sans Merci' conflates love and sex (in this phrase they are one and the same), the speaker of 'Absent from Thee' sees sex as physical experimentation his mind 'deserves to try' (line 8). Love in 'La Belle Dame Sans Merci' is stifling for the knight. It changes his complexion and makes him weak. The evidence of this is not from his mouth but from another narrator who introduces us to him as 'alone and palely loitering' (line 2).

Truth and deception:

'La Belle Dame Sans Merci' is concerned with an element of magic, and this other-worldly force appears to have a significant effect on the knight and his ability to move on from the 'faery's child' he talks of. The woman is portrayed as the deceptive person in the relationship as she appears to trick him into love and then abandon him, leaving him alone and yearning for her touch. In contrast, the deceptive partner in 'Absent from Thee' is the speaker.

Love and loss:

The loss in 'Absent from Thee' is less dominant than in 'La Belle Dame Sans Merci'. The loss appears to be self-imposed in 'Absent from Thee' as the speaker alludes to the fact that he is able to return to his lover on his own account: 'ask me not when I return' (line 2). The knight, however, experiences a different kind of loss, one that is involuntary, raw and intense, and which leaves him 'palely loitering' (line 2), stuck in a bleak liminal space between the time he had with his lover and death from love sickness.

Whereas the knight is driven to obsess over his lover in her absence, the speaker in 'Absent from Thee' is drawn to the opposite. We find the speaker instead imagining sexual relations with other women. As readers, we are led to question how the loss, expressed in the absence of a lover in both poems, contributes to the states of the men and the truthfulness of their love for their 'lovers'.